instead of writing my paper due tomorrow at 1pm

this post is goodbye kisses after someone you just spent the night with, but his/her mouth is new to you. the whole damn person is new to you. and we were up till the wee hours, and oh cozy sleep, and hmm, we don't really want to get out of bed, but you've got to go to work and i've got class, of course i'd be happy to drop you off at the bus stop...okay bye (okay we just shared these intimate times and were kissing all night and of course we should be kissing goodbye) ...and kiss...but this kiss is coming from a different place, isn't it? uh-huh. and it's not really the place all that lip-locking was coming from the night before, eh? but that's how it ends, the departure is on this sweet and sunny 'have a good day at work' note, which, while yes, sweet and sunny and you're all high anyways so it feels just fine, seems truly so inappropriate, unaligned.

welcome, new students

i talked up being single for quite a while. i asked questions. i observed. i pondered the meeting of strangers, the taking home of them, the exchanges of phone numbers or emails. i was titillated by the stories of others. for many years prior, i sat on the other side of the fence - where my friends would scold me for my naivité, in expecting all those 'dates' with strangers to be innocent efforts at making new friends. "you fool, they are looking for more than friendship." or, "you are leading them on." and i would fight back (and still do). oh, all the fighting i've done in favor of the platonic.
but here i am, in the thick of it now. and unlike the marriage research, i'm learning quick that all the interviews in the world are no alternative to diving in to living it (as always). and there's really not much point in talking about it because it's more a feeling than anything else, fortified by a healthy dose of spring, although sure, yes, i'm sure you know what i'm talking about. and i certainly feel ages behind, feel like a teenager or something all of a sudden. or like a sophomore undergrad. so let's dive in, shall we, canary girl? let's find out about the awkward and the exhilarating, about the shaking of hips and the shaking of heads, about the surprise of a sunrise and the morning after. you know, i've been walking around my not-so-new hometown for months now, not really caring how i looked. dress up and style were mostly for trips to my fair city. funny how all that can change so quickly. some one could see me. bittersweet to halt my slovenly.
tonight i hung out with some classmates. the last 2 guests at the married couple's house were only single ones there. oh, dear reader, can you recall, or do you still live, where this world was unfolding for you? where butterflies abound?

Canary-birds pair in a state of nature, but the breeders in England succesfully put the male to four or five females. I have noticed these cases, as rendering it probable that wild monogamous species might readily become either temporarily or permanently polyamorous.
~Charles Darwin, The Descent of Man